i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
