I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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