I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize