Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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