I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
