Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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