ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
