First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
only you would photoshop your dick
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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