Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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