When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
