Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
