Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
