My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
