The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
