from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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