At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
