Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
