It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
