Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the day after is always just damage control
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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