My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He has the fingertips of a God
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