my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
foreskin is a definite game changer
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
