its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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