I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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