textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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