addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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