As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
