Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
