question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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