I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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