You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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