Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
vagina is talking i cant
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
