We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
