Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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