I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Michael Bay diarrhea
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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