It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize