So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
