im drinking this country out of the recession.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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