If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
