The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
