There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
