Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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