Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
