i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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