no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
