My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I will pee on everything he values.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
