Cold hands, warm shart.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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