how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
