it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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