I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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