so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
