drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize