the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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