If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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