Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
