Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
