Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
