I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
