I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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