I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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