so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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