she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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